I should probably blog something....

It's been another 2 weeks since I last blogged, so I probably should write something- but then really, nobody reads this so who cares? The point is that usually somewhere in my musings, God really hits me with something very profound. And tonight, I could really use that.

The past couple days of school have been pretty good- for the most part, the kids have enjoyed it. Probably has something to do with the fact that I turned learning verbs and the months/seasons into games of charades. I think part of me has balked at the notion of 'playing games/entertaining' my children with their school work- feeling that it was somehow counterproductive. They weren't going to be entertained in order to make their jobs as adults more enjoyable, might as well get them used to the idea now that life was boring and you just had to suck it up.

But maybe that's more of how I feel life is right now, and I'm scared to think of the possibility of life being fun/enjoyable. Or maybe I'm just not up to opening the door to feeling anything right now? I used to love school- and I want my kids to love learning too. So why am I tormenting all of us and making it so sour? I've been wondering if maybe I should send them back to public school- at least there the teachers could be slightly more entertaining, or at least the classroom environment would do that!

Last time I wrote about being the lighthouse- now I just feel like the person who's been washed overboard by the storm and is getting sucked down deeper and deeper. The house is a mess- the Lego is overrunning nearly every room. And the laundry- I was so pleased that it was caught up only to discover last night 4 - 5 loads had found their way into the laundry pile in my room!

But we had a pretty good school week. Maybe I just need to hold onto that for tonight. My kids are excited about some of the activities that we're supposed to be doing. Maybe that can help me want to get out of bed tomorrow.

It says in James that, 'blessed are those who persevere when they face trials of many kinds, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.' I've been saying this to the boys to get them to work through the 'boring stuff'- maybe I need to make it my mantra to get me through this as well.....