Finding a Quiet Place

Right now, life is feeling out of control. Any day that is remotely not wet will find me outside trying to get my house painted before winter comes and we aren't able to paint anymore. This usually means that my older children are supervising themselves inside and the baby is hopefully sleeping (which she seems to have decided to do less and less of lately). Unfortunately doing this multiple times in quick succession makes the kids squirrelly.

Next, we have to add to that a temporary paper route that goes 3 times/week, and occasionally requires me to bring all 5 children with and get up really early on Saturdays to get the hour long route done by 9am.

We've also now started music lessons for the older 3 kids, on 2 separate days. I have been meaning to, for the past 3 - 4 years, do the lessons myself- but the reality of uninterrupted focused time to do that isn't happening right now. Like I said, things are chaotic right now and I feel like everything is being driven by the tyranny of the urgent instead of being directed with purpose.

Which brings me to finding a quiet place. I was thinking yesterday how scattered things feel right now. I finally managed to get last week's laundry folded today- but it's still not put away and I'm already starting on this week's laundry. But everything feels so busy, that I feel like I don't have time for anything- let alone reconnecting with the kids to help calm/smooth out our home.

We need some peace. Not that I want quiet solitude, although that is a long ago luxury that I wouldn't mind tasting for a bit, but rather I want a peaceful home. Where kids get along with/like each other. Where the laundry is not only done, but put away. Where everything is in its place so that you aren't stepping/tripping on toys and can't find anywhere that's clear to play. Where when you look around, you feel at peace with what you see- instead of feeling anxious because of the clutter/chaos.

But how to achieve that? With 7 people in our house, there is bound to be stuff laying around. I've purged at least 2 (if not 3) minivan loads of stuff from our home, but there is still so much left. And, it doesn't help that the 2 yr old just takes everything out & throws it around- even as we're trying to clean up.

So how to find the quiet place and bring peace back to our home? Well, the house needs to finish getting painted (which is a non-negotiable) and we've committed to the paper route, but both of those things will be done within the next month (unless we quit the route early- which might be a good idea, but I want to teach the kids several things through doing this, so we'll see). Music lessons are something that I want as a priority for our family- so they will stay (for now). But the rest of it all is going to stop so that it's just us, figuring out life as God wants it to be for us.

Life happens and things keep coming up, but maybe finding a quiet place means figuring out what's important to our family and pursuing that and letting everything else that doesn't line up with that go. Skipping good lessons to pursue the best lessons. Taking time to figure out the purpose of why God allowed each of us to wake up this morning- seeking His agenda and not my own.

That's an interesting thought: 'why did God let me wake up this morning- what event/circumstance that is going to happen today requires my participation?' and then spend the day working towards making the most of it...

Finding Time....

I came up with a really great thought for another post, but was too tired to write last night. Then today I had totally forgotten what it was that I wanted to remember. Thankfully (I think), my memory was jogged by a quick perusal of my journaling- so hopefully this was the topic. ;-p

I've been thinking about each one of my kids lately and trying to figure out what it is that they need that they have to get from me personally. Things like quality time. With 5 kids, a reno still in progress and homeschooling all going on- I wonder where I'm supposed to find the time to do all things for all kids.

Like for #2. He wants to know what his 'talent' is- the thing that God gave him to make him special that will likely form part of who he is/what he does when he gets older. I believe God gave me something for #1, but I haven't gotten anything for #2. So I was thinking/praying about it while journaling last night and really felt that I was supposed to spend time with him, teaching him how to hear from God- in order for him to discover it for himself.

Then I thought about how I should be teaching ALL my children to hear from God like that too.

Then I thought about how I need to be reading with ALL my children every day.

Then I thought about how I needed to spend 'alone time' will ALL my children every day.

Then I thought about how I need to be teaching my children their schooling every day.

Then I wondered how the house was going to get cleaned, the laundry done and meals prepared every day.

And, and, and.... and I wondered how I would find the time to do all those things without ALL the other children going crazy because they weren't being closely supervised while I was occupied with their sibling.

And I was overwhelmed.

I know that I waste a LOT of time on the internet- so I'm trying to cut back (probably need to go cold turkey! although it doesn't help that I'm on here now!?!?!?). Not to mention the poor food choices are leaving me feeling sluggish/tired because it's messing with my sleep (as well as a spike in crazy dreams lately- but that's another story) and vice versa, so that when I finally fall asleep I'm in no hurry to get up and deal with the day. So I feel like I'm short of hours in the day.

But then I realized that just because God told me to do something with one child at a particular time doesn't mean that I have to then do that with ALL of the children. God's into personalization- not mass production/cookie cutter approaches. That's not to say that if the opportunity presents itself that I can't do it, just that once I get something I'm not supposed to automatically do it for all of them.

Lately all of the kids seem to NEED me, in a very personal 'alone time' kind of way. They are asking for cuddles/snuggles. They're asking for talks and doing things with me. I feel torn about how to give them all this time... but I guess I just have to remember that while they're asking for my time- they're also giving me their time as well. It won't be that much longer and they might not be so free with that offering, especially if I don't take advantage of it now.

Better food/exercise choices must be made to  have the energy to live with less sleep so that I can get my chores done when they're asleep and computer/TV time is going to have to be significantly reduced so that I can find the time to give it to my children. To invest in their future and ultimately the future of my descendants as a result of how I raise the children God has entrusted to me.

Maybe then, too, they won't fight me as much when I say it's time for school....