Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Hitting the Wall...

The past few weeks have been pretty brutal- to the point where my hubby is wanting to send the kids back to public school. So I've been asking myself again, 'why am I doing this?'.

I'm guessing the biggest part of the problem is my lack of devotional time. Time to focus on the important things (like growing into a more Christ-like woman/wife/mother) and releasing the unimportant things (like petty distractions that can consume all your time each day).

In reading some of my previous posts, I've realized that my blogs have been very self focused- whining about this and that and what's gone (usually) wrong with homeschooling that week. But is that really what this is about. I mean really- why are we doing this?

Character building takes time, lots of it. And around here- nobody is immune and I think most of us would be getting a big fat 'F' in that class! So how can the kids be expected to behave when we as parents seem to be loosing it most of the time?

Nothing seems to be going the way it should- not that I feel like I know what 'it' should look like. I keep thinking that maybe if it was more interesting or entertaining or something, that the boys would be more on board with the whole program and get their work done quickly- oh, and with a great attitude as well! Probably too much to hope for from 6 & 8 year old boys!

I was thinking that maybe I needed some suggestions on how I could change things up, but then I realized that while that might be helpful- it isn't the solution. I need to go to the Great Teacher and get HIS instructions for what I'm supposed to be doing, along with the when and how of it all. Something that is so basic yet I've sadly chosen to neglect it and waste time doing unimportant things.

Maybe that's why God let's us hit walls- so we can stop and look around at the mess that our lives have become, in the hopes that we'll finally turn to Him to show us how things are really supposed to be done. Maybe if I get focused on God it will help my kids get focused on Him too- and then maybe together we can work on getting our lives in focus. Each of us getting our jobs done quickly and efficiently so that we can have time to enjoy each other and the world around us.

I guess that means that I need to get off here and begin the focusing- and then get to bed so that I can focus my day tomorrow BEFORE it happens, rather than after I get slaughtered in battle!  ;-&

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