Temper Tantrums

Lately it seems as if the temper tantrum monster has come to live at my house- today it was my turn to let loose in a full melt-down. I'm so totally not proud of that fact and after a time-out in my room, I called all the kids to the living room to apologize and ask for their forgiveness.

I always tell them that they can't control what others say/do to them, but they do have control over their response. And, as much as I 'lost it' today with them- it was very much a choice. I knew that I could get them to stop fighting and start listening if I freaked out at them- so I did it. Plain talking hadn't worked so I did what I knew would work- slamming books and bins on the table and yelling. Did I feel awful afterwards- yes, but also strangely no.

Yes, because I don't want to freak my kids into obeying me. I want them to obey out of love not fear. Yes, because I don't like it that nothing else is working and the only thing I could think of was to melt-down. But mostly yes, because the bible says that I'm to be slow to anger, not given to fits of rage and when I do get angry that I don't sin while doing so- which clearly I was since it wasn't a holy anger (it was an 'I've had it with this crap and I'm going to get you to obey by freaking you into doing so').

On the no side, it got my kids to do what I'd been trying for over an hour to do- stop the questioning/ complaining/ fighting about every single thing I (or anyone else) said or did to them.

But then there was still the rest of the day. The part where everyone else seemed to want to take their turn at having a temper tantrum. And the stupid part was, I couldn't really blame them and give them crap for it since I'd just done it myself this morning. Hm, another reason for the 'don't ever do that again' column.

So where to go from here? More sleep would probably be a good start. It's hard to deal with whiny, insubordinate children when you're tired. But I think there is more that I need to be pro-active about. Maybe I'm less incline to put up with things lately since I've realized that by not nipping this in the butt soon enough in the process has gotten me to this place- so I'm frustrated by that as well as the whining. I'm still not really sure what needs to be done and/or how to do it.

I've been toying with the idea of school/chore lists for each child every day- thereby making them responsible to get things done. And, adding to that, the amount of screen time that they'll 'earn' by completing each item without whining/complaining.

But then I wonder again if that's a lesson that I really want to teach them- get through your work so that YOU can have YOUR time? The 'I've done my work so now this is MY time to do with as I want, blah, blah, blah. I mean really, our time is really God's time- and I should be teaching my kids to wait on Him for HIS plan for their day/lives. As Christians do we ever get time off, or can there be a compromise somewhere in between the two?

All I need to know is that I have to change me first so that I can lead by example instead of be the hypocrite and doing the 'do as I say- not as I do' thing. This seems to be a constant theme in my blogs here. I guess it's like I told my husband- sometimes I think home schooling (and having kids for that matter) are more about refining the parents than what the kids will learn, lol!

Maybe next time I can pick a good day when things go well and blog then so these posts don't seem so depressing....